As we all know that Valentine’s Day falls in February which makes it the Month of Love (at least in my mind). So, what better way to celebrate this month than by hearing from one of our own relationship coaches. Frankie Doiron is the president and CEO of The Relationship Coaching Institute. She and David Steel have created a remarkable program and I’m sure you’ll find their approach as interesting as I do.
Professionally:
David Steel is the Founder and you are the President of Relationship Coaching Institute. When did you partner, before or after the start of the business?
David founded RCI 11 years ago after 20 years of practice as a Marriage and Family Therapist in California. He became discouraged by working with couples who had unsalvageable marriages and were on the verge of divorce. He wanted a new approach to working with people and providing them with the knowledge, tools and skills needed to create successful relationships. He found coaching was the answer.
I trained as a Relationship Coach with RCI 2 years ago and was very successful in my private practice. David invited me to mentor other RCI coaches and we soon started to co-develop some relationship training programs and tele-seminars.
How did the partnership begin?
We found we worked well together, had a similar work ethic, and shared a vision to affect positive change in society, by helping people create happy and fulfilling relationships.
My previous interviews have been with sole proprietors – what would you say are the advantages of having a professional peer?
One of the difficulties of being a sole proprietor is that you are alone. Getting an opinion from a trusted source is invaluable. Being able to collaborate with a professional peer, who is also vested in the business is an amazingly creative and supportive experience. Together you can raise the bar and achieve a bigger vision.
The disadvantages?
If you have the right partner, there are no disadvantages, and I think we are fortunate that we work so well together.
You run a training institute. What is your role in the business? Do you coach? If so, how many hours a week do you coach?
As the President and CEO I manage the organization, oversee the training and ongoing curriculum development. David and I also provide mentoring and support to our coaches. We provide practice building programs that help our coaches create successful businesses. I only coach a few clients each month as my main focus is the development and growth of RCI.
Who is your ideal candidate to become a relationship coach?
All of our coaches come from the helping professions (coaches, therapists, social workers, counselors, clergy, etc) and are individuals who have a sincere desire to make a difference in their clients’ lives. They are dedicated and passionate about helping singles and couples create fulfilling relationships that last a lifetime – and they understand the ripple effect this will have on society.
What are some pitfalls that other entrepreneurs should be on the look-out for, and how can they be avoided?
Most entrepreneurs have expertise in their specific filed of endeavor, but many don’t have a business or marketing background. For a business to be successful, you need to utilize best practices and implement effective marketing strategies. Many entrepreneurs fail to gain this critical knowledge, and as a result risk their financial success.
What would you say is the one most important thing you’ve learned being an entrepreneur?
You really can’t do it alone. To be successful you need to attract great people who share your vision – and you need to treat them with respect and integrity.
On your website David has a section on how and why he became a relationship coach, what’s your story?
I have owned and operated several multi-million dollar companies in the publishing and technology fields, and also worked in strategic planning and marketing for major international corporations. In 2003 I left the corporate world in search of something that was more fulfilling and meaningful. I found coaching and never looked back.Also on the website there are sections for singles and couples. They are both interesting and informative.
Have you notice any competition in this area from websites like E-Harmony or Match.com?
Both E-Harmony and Match.com offer dating services for singles. RCI is a relationship coach training institute. We train professionals to work with both singles and couples to help them create great relationships. And, since we do know a lot about relationships, we also offer some great content for the general public who are interested in learning more about love.
Can you talk more about your Five Stage Paradigm?
We have identified 5 stages of relationships and our coach training curriculum for our professional relationship coaches is aligned with these stages:
Stage I is Readiness Coaching for Singles: In this stage we coach singles to get ready for a love relationship by first developing a relationship with ‘self’. This means getting clear about who you are and what you want in life and love. We help our clients identify and eliminate their limiting beliefs, identify their values, define their life vision and goals, and identify their relationship requirements.
Stage II is Attraction Coaching for Singles: In this stage we help a single who is ‘ready’ develop their attraction plan and apply practical tools and skills to increasing their social network, identifying venues where they are more likely to meet their life partner, and help them practice social and dating skills.
Stage III is Pre-Committed Couple Coaching: In this stage we help a new couple determine whether “this is the oneâ€, by identifying their areas of compatibility in life vision, values, goals and requirements. We help them develop strategies for testing, decision-making and addressing emotional and compatibility issues.
Stage IV is Couples Coaching: In this stage we help a committed couple co-create a functional Life Partnership. We work with them to develop effective communication and conflict resolution skills; discovering and overcoming issues and obstacles around functional needs, such as parenting, domestic responsibilities, finances, etc.; and identifying and negotiating mutual wants, needs, and goals.
Stage V is Bliss Coaching: In this stage we help a committed couple with a functional relationship deepen their emotional intimacy, trust, love, and connection. This includes increasing authentic expression of thoughts, feelings, wants, needs; taking ownership of emotional reactivity; increasing mutual support, trust, safety around emotional vulnerabilities and intimacy; and developing skills, rituals, and practices for deepening emotional, physical, and spiritual connection and fulfillment.
I like that you strive to help clients “continue to seek a fulfilling life partnership†by “helping people close the gap between where they are and where they want to be.†I would think as a result there have been many successful matches – can you tell us some inspiring cases?
Conscious Dating is a new way of thinking and being. It is transformational. Refer to the 10 principles of conscious dating: http://www.consciousdating.com/principles.htm. Here are some success stories within our own coaching community: http://www.consciousdating.com/contest.htm
Personally:
What sustains you personally?
I believe we all have the ability and right to achieve a great life and have a wonderful love relationship, but it doesn’t just “happen” – it requires conscious effort and accountability. When I see how our programs transform people and open up their lives to new possibilities, I know I have found my calling.
Who are your supports?
My husband is my rock and is always supportive of me. My grandchildren, although very young, inspire me and remind me that life is really all about love. It’s simple and yet we make it so unnecessarily complicated.
We all have down days, how do you self-motivate?
On the rare occasion when I do get down, I try to understand why – is it tiredness, or stress? – and then I decide whether I have time, or want to indulge it for an hour or so. If I want it to pass I will do a series of breathing and stretching exercises while focusing on my goals. It always works for me.<
Is there anything else we should know about you or the Relationship Coaching Institute?
RCI is a membership organization that trains and supports relationship professionals to work with singles and couples. We have over 400 RCI member coaches worldwide and are dedicated to creating, preserving and improving marital relationships.
Kim Woodworth, M.A, is a Parent Coach working specifically with parents and the unique issues they face. Do you want to have more energy for yourself, your spouse, and your children; and to experience fulfillment in your role as a parent? Contact Kim to discuss the possibilities. www.ourcasa.com
