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What sustains you personally? My faith, my wife, my family and my friends. And, believe me, i need a lot of support. Who are your supports? My wife, Nan, my church family, and the New Coach Connection list, especially my fellow Connectors. Nan and I have been married just over two and half years. You can see our wedding pictures here. I also love my dog, an Akita named Reno. You can see some pictures of him from last year’s Christmas party here. We all have down days. How do you self-motivate? I like to read poetry, especially the Psalms or some of my own writings from many years ago. I also give myself permission to feel the sadness, and not try to avoid it. Sometimes I give in and avoid feelings by eating junk food and watching TV–I love the Sci-Fi channel, National Geographic, and Animal Planet. Another thing I do when I’m down is surf the Internet. I especially like to find and experiment with new PHP scripts and work on my various websites. I’ve been working hard on getting an image gallery to work the way I want it to for my new ClickBank Info Products eStore: Can you share a client’s “Ah-ha” moment that impacted you personally?
I love to use imagery and metaphor in coaching. On one occasion I was talking to a client about her fear of marketing her services, and asked her to imagine jumping in a very large and deep lake and sinking down under the water. I asked her to report her feelings. We were both surprised at her answers–she was afraid of disappearing, of going out of existence. We explored those feelings and other times she had felt that way; she was able to report several other experiences where she felt that fear. I ended by asking her to imagine jumping into the deep water again, but this time with scuba gear, an air tank, and a line attached to the boat. Jumping in over our heads is a lot different if we are prepared.
In the same vein, can you share a story that tickled both you and your client?
I love to laugh,and I often use humor in coaching. One thing I do is exaggerate what a client is saying, really going over the top. Remember the comedienne, maybe you know her name, who used to say, “Nobody likes me, no one’s my friend. I’m going to eat worms and die”? Ya gotta be careful with this, but it can be a lot of fun, and highly insightful.
You’ve said that a coach’s two most important tasks are marketing and coaching. I personally know many coaches-in-training that absolutely FEAR the marketing aspect of the job description. How would you address this issue?
Marketing aversion is an area I am studying right now. I have a draft of a blog post on the subject in the queue here on the NCC Blog right now that I hope to finish soon. Fear is only one reason people avoid marketing, but it is a biggie.
What I’d like everyone to know is that it is possible to identify specific reasons for not wanting to market yourself and address them. Often there are negative thought patterns, thoughts that just are not true and can be replaced with more adaptive thoughts using techniques first developed to treat clinically depressed patients (shared by Rational-Emotive Therapy and Cognitive-Behavioral therapy). I am most emphatically NOT saying that marketing aversion reaches the point of being a mental disorder for most people, although it may for some of us. Yet these same thought-stopping and thought-replacing methods can be used in all sorts of situations. What are some pitfalls that other solo-preneurs should be on the lookout for, and how can they be avoided? (1) Waiting to start. Some people want to wait til they get certified, til they get their website up, til they’ve had enough experience doing buddy or pro bono coaching, or til ________ (fill in the blank). It’s a smokescreen. Get your training. Get your website up (and get help doing that if you need it). Do lots of buddy coaching and study groups, it’s a great way to hone your skills. But quit using these activities as an excuse not to launch your practice. (2) Trying to get it “just right.” Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for excellence. It’s striving for perfection that will drive you crazy. Let go of the quest. Learn the mystery of being “good enough.” That is why setting a standard in advance is an essential step in solving a problem. How will you know when you’ve done what you set out to do? How do you know when to quit? What would you say is the one most important thing you’ve learned being an entrepreneur? I cannot honestly call myself an entrepreneur, since I am not actively coaching at this time. But the one most important thing I’ve learned is that being in private practice as a coach is being a small business owner. You’ve got to treat it like a business, not a hobby. It’d be great just to let someone else do all the marketing and you just come in and do the coaching (or would it? How do you know that?), but that’s not how it works. If you set up some systems it can be done, and a lot more easily than you fear. How did you first learn about the field of coaching? I was working as an adjustment counselor for the Alliance for the Blind and visually Impaired in Memphis, Tennessee. Some clients who had recently lost their sight needed support through that crisis. A few (10-15%) develop clinical depression or anxiety. But when the crisis was past and the depression worked through, what my clients needed was to move on with their lives,learning to do the things they need to do in new ways. I heard about lifeskills training and my research led me to coaching, which I incorporated into my adjustment counseling(see Three Faces of Adjustment Counseling). When that job ended I started coaching in a private practice. How did you get started in coaching? Was it a conscious decision or was it a “next step” process?
I had a chance to develop some approaches while i was working as an adjustment counselor. but when I decided to try it on my own I set up all the systems–business cards, second phone line, coaching agreement, all that. But what I have never successfully accomplished is developing a client pipeline or marketing system. I think this is the biggest challenge for lots of coaches as well.
Do you have a VA? If so, at what point in your practice did you hire her/him?
No, but I often wish I did.
 My advice: get a VA sooner rather than later.Well, in a way, i do. Nan just read this draft, and found a dozen typos. I can get her to do that for me when writing something important. And I count on Diana Lindstrom, one of the NCC Connectors, to help me proofread the NCC website. What have you discovered to be great time savers?
Establishing clear systems for your day-to-day tasks, and following the system. Spend some time making some good decisions about what you need to do and when, and then don’t agonize over every little decision that comes up. This will mean NOT doing some of the things you’d do if you don’t have a plan in place.
Time wasters?
Trying to be perfect. Attending to the urgent demands on your time, like answering all your email, without prioritizing.
You have chronicled your reactions to getting shot in the knee by an attempted home invader last year on the New Coach Connection list. Can your give an update on your recovery? I am doing very well. I walk without a limp, for which I am grateful. I finally had the slug removed a few months ago, and the pain has been much less (I’m not taking acetominophen every day any more–YAY!) Dr. Whittle (I still crack up about her name) delivered the slug to the police for possible forensic testing, but I haven’t heard anything about that. The intruder was never caught. Now that we have Reno Nan and I feel much safer. He has been a blessing in many ways. Also, I’m curious about how you get so much done (you do have a strong presence on the Web) with the challenges of vision loss (see Dealing with Vision Loss: My Story for more about that). Since I’m interested I’m sure many of our readers are as well. Please share as much or as little as you’re comfortable with. I’m really not sure what to say. My vision has had a huge impact on my life. I have never driven a car. I sometimes wonder what kind I’d have if I could drive. Maybe a pickup truck or a little sporty car like my brother’s 1967 Mustang that he wrecked back in 1974. I can no longer read print books. When I have access to a CCTV reading machine I can use that, but I don’t have one at home (see some models here). So I do most of my reading online. I use ReadPlease, a text-to-speech reader, to read long passages out loud, and I use Desktop Zoom, a screen enlarging program, for most things. I can’t read the computer screen without these aids. It takes me 2-10 times longer to do things online than it does for most other people (for example, i have spent more time proofreading this than writing it, and I KNOW I have left typos in). Perhaps the thing that attracted me most to coaching is that most of it is done virtually. I miss so much from not seeing facial expressions and body language when I am talking to someone in person, but we are equal over the phone or via e-mail. I have learned to listen for subtle changes in speech as a substitute for seeing facial expressions, so I am actually ahead of the game in that respect. I have trouble dialing numbers, but I can do it.
Using the special keys for various functions on bridge lines on teleclasses is another challenge for me.I am fortunate to have some usable vision. Many of my friends and colleagues are completely blind. I would have just as much trouble adjusting to that as any of you who are fully sighted, except of course I wouldn’t have to give up driving (that’s the toughest adjustment for a newly blinded person). I do walk around the neighborhood, but even then I have to be careful about the traffic.
But mostly I don’t think about it. I just do what I have to do, the best way I can. I know many people with other challenges. I would hate to be deaf, for instance (although I do have significant hearing loss; that often accompanies some forms of vision loss). And I’d hate to need a wheelchair. But people survive and even thrive with all sorts of physical challenges. I am no different from anyone else in that regard. Save your pity (and your admiration, which is only pity in reverse) for someone who needs it.
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Kim Woodworth, M.A, is a Parent Coach working specifically with parents and the unique issues they face. Do you want to have more energy for yourself, your spouse, and your children; and to experience fulfillment in your role as a parent? Contact Kim to discuss the possibilities. Join New Coach Connection
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